Okay, so anyway...

Well, I guess all the trying to hear from the Lord about whether or not to go to Baghdad was all just a fun exercise. It seems the opportunity has been called off before I had the chance to find out what God wanted for me in it. I guess I should be happy since this is one possible way for Him to answer (by closing the door). But alas, I feel no such joy. I wish I would have heard before the door was shut. I wish that I could say for a fact that God had spoken to me personally. Not about the job as a whole but about my place in it. I wish I had known for sure before hand that He was not in it. But there is no sense in regretting that now... it is over and that is that. Sadly, it often seems that life trundles on faster than I can keep up and that there is rarely time for me to get a personal direction from God on an issue before the it has roled through and travelled on its merry way.

Today was just a bad day in general. It was one of those days where nothing truly terrible happens but nothing truly good happens either and when you are left with all the mediocre things that did happen you feel like it was all a waste and wonder what it was for. Todays theme song is: The Show Must Go On by Queen. I really have nothing further to write that might be even a little bit interesting to anyone else, so I guess I shut up. For now, although my heart is empty, my smile still stays... the show must go on!